Seasonings Ammendment

In a landmark announcement today, prezzo announced plans to move forward with his intentions of ramming through a new constitutional amendment. While the text of the amendment remains unclear, the its substance has been well-communicated. Disturbed after shopping at Bloomingdale’s Country Annex and noticing that the right and left boot salt and pepper shakers were available separately, prezzo declared that he needed to protect “Meals from changing forever” and that “for millenia wars have been fought over spices, so that they could accompany common iodized table salt, and now some renegade trinket manufacturers and merchants are presuming to arbitrarily change the nature of America’s most fundamental family-time.”

“Their actions have created confusion at the dinner table. At my table I always know that the Iraq shaker is pepper cuz’ it’s black, like oil, and the Columbia shaker is white, errrm, salt. I know that, my children know that.” After the conference, held at the Lincoln Bedroom Dairy Queen, prezzo peppered his fries and said that, “Government should respect every person and trinket manufacturer, but we need to, ” (looks squintily into camera), “protect the institution of the American meal.”