Operation Iraqi Freedom the Drinking Game

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to get good and loaded, while supporting the troops. Here’s what you need to play. Some friends, a twelve-pack of beer for each of you, a bottle of tequila, dice, some poker chips, and a television. Turn the teevee on, and switch it over to local war coverage if it somehow isn’t already.

Here’s what to do. Veg out on the tube with a beer in your hand. Just like most teevee drinking games, most of the action revolves around people on teevee saying and doing stuff.

The rules:

• Saddam sucks: Whenever Saddam is mentioned, everyone yell “Get him!”. The last one to yell rolls the die and drinks that many gulps. Note that if the announcer suggests that he is dead, this one is an imposter, or that the film is pre-war, double the roll.

• The switcharoo: References to 9/11. Be the first to come up with a new phrase linking Osama bin Laden and Saddam and you get a reverser (poker) chip. Give away 9 swallows to one person, and 11 to another. Use the reverser to turn some drinks against someone else.

• Moment of silence: If there is mention of troops (good guys) caught in friendly fire, everyone should ‘sssshhh!’, have a moment of silence, first ssshh rolls the die, and the group has a social.

• The Texan: George Bush makes a dramatic pause while speaking, the first person to yell ‘Say it!’ gives away a shot of tequila. Rerences to Texas are double, and should be called out with ‘God Blessed Texas’.

• The icon: Jessica Lynch (very sad story, happy ending) has become a symbol of American righteousness. Whenever her story is used in this way, roll the die and have a social toast to her safety and the Iraqi doctor who probably protected her.

Drinks should be had by all on:

• references to hygiene
  • suggestions that peace protesters are bad
    • commercial breaks – what better time to drink is there?
      • Colin Powell
        • John Ashcroft
          • Donald Rumsfeld
            • two drinks each for Irael and/or Palestine
              • office of Homeland Security or
                • the color-coded alert system
                  • two drinks for code orange
                    • one shot of tequila for mention of code red
                      • anytime a website is referenced
                        • newscaster looks directly into the camera imploringly

Well, I think this is the perfect drinking game because you can play it anytime, day or night, for as long as you have beer and tequila. So have fun, and don’t drive if you play!</>