Portland Radio Sucks

It truly does. Once again. In bold. Portland Radio Sucks. Bigtime. I could stop this story right here, and probably have said all that I need to, but then what would be the fun in that? I am just freakin’ so sick and tired of all the damn commercials and the stupid DJ’s mackin on strippers for 47 minutes out of each hour. And the three songs that I do hear…if my timing was good and I get to hear any on my commute…are the same ones by the same ‘artists’, rotating between Rage Against the Machine, tool, System of A Down, Korn (sorry deep guys can’t do that kewl ‘K’ thing they do), with maybe a bit of Metallica blended in.

I can’t imagine that it has anything to do with the way our stations take their annual turns at being a different national Radio conglomerate’s bitch all the friggin time. The air waves belong to the people NOT those ass-holes at Clear Channel and Viacom. We as citizens need to take interest in who has control of our media. But this isn’t the place or time for an intellectual and political discourse on the demerits of the FCC and deregulation. This is a time to whine and moan.

I have gotten into my car, driven for nearly 15 minutes and heard only freakin commercials on our local rock station. I’ve gone at least twenty minutes without a song. And these are music stations. Criminy! The alternative station, KNRK sometimes hints that it means well, It actually devotes time to local artists. For like an hour when even Taco Bell is closed! And Art’s show seems interesting sometimes. But that does not make it okay to suck the rest of the time. Their playlist is aye-dent-ti-kal to that of KUFO’s, the hard rock station (to be confused with the rock station at the same location on your flaccid tuner).

Portland is a city with a great music scene. There are a lot of good shows going on every night, album release parties weekly. And some of those are probably crap. But that’s okay. Seattle’s not too far away, nor is San Francisco, even Boisemight have an emerging band or two. I don’t know, because they’s rather not come here. If we demanded our music be taken seriously, we might be taken that way.

So I’m absolutely fed up with the situation as it is. I haven’t figured out my more drastic measures yet, but I’m sure I’ll figure something out and you’ll be the first to know about it. But in the meantime, I’ve ditched local radio all-to-friggin-gether and subscribed to Sirius Satellite Radio…expect a full review of that in a different voice than this, but suffice it to say for now that it’s so liberating it rocks.

Anyhow, I may as well make a few demands.

Vary your music a little!
Play less commercials
I don’t care how hot she is I can’t see her!
DJ’s: shut the hell up and play some music if you’re too stupid to have an original idea friggin Marconi!
Represent our local artists! I know your corporate John’s can’t handle anything a bit original, but it’s your freakin duty!
Request hour is just that. It’s not sit take calls until you can get a suondbite for the next song on your playlist

ps – kiss my ass Clear Channel!

Tunes!