Roller Friggin Derby!

Portland now has a roller derby team. The Rose City Rollers. Well, we’ve actually got four teams. And they’ve been around for a year or two. But Saturday night marked their first real competition. I’ve been going to their fundraisers since the beginning, and harassing my buddy D-Day about having an actual competition. I was having my doubts that it would ever happen. It did. Oh my, did it happen. That shyte went off. I was fortunate to have my ticket ahead of time, so I was able to skip the 1/4-mile long line that was slow as a 3-wheeled skate on molasses. My friends had to wait, and got like the last three tickets available. 800 people behind them were turned away. Anyway, it rocked. D-Day skates for the Heartless Heathers, and they looked pretty solid. Unfortunately they were playing against a stacked deck. The Guns ‘n Rollers were obviously the pet team of the league and had many ringers. And twice the number of skaters.

The whole thing was awesome though. The skaters kicked ass. They wore themed skimpy things, and Budweiser knows how cool it is for hot ladies in skimpy things to kick the crap out of each other. Now add roller skates and tattoos. I’m not going to go into every detail of the event. Or even very many at all. But I want to send props to Goody 2 Skates and November Pain for just kicking ass. November Pain was like lighning and Goody 2 Skates sailed through the pack like John Cusack racing for Demi’s kids and Odie’s honor. Itzo Easy was pretty rabid as well. And Vominatrix picked it up (and then dropped ’em later…her undies she ended up in were emblazoned “EAT SHIT”. Oh, it was so beautiful. We had a great time, sitting right up front in the danger zone, getting sticker. I didn’t get a beer though. The line was miserable, hardly moving, and everyone ahead of us let their friends in (sorry, I don’t play that one), so after about 20 minutes we’d moved like 5 feet. PBR…if you’re gonna sponsor this kind of thing, throw down some taps as well.

For the fun run at this, I’m quite impressed. Great job everyone, and I’m looking forward to the next one. Please please please make beer attainable. cheers!

New Hobby

fixin my friggin bathroom. Okay. So I’m not that savvy on home repairs, so when N noticed a leak going from the bathroom to the basement, I knew I was in trouble. I might’ve gone a bit nuts. Fearing that the whole thing was rotted through and through I started tearing shyte apart. Fun! Then I realized, crap, I don’t know what I’m doing. And my man M@ came to the rescue. Good times! He pulled out the nappy drywall and helped fix the leak. Now I’ve replaced the drywall chunk and torn out the entire shower surround and it’s stinky! Weird nasty glue stinky. Replacing the drywall was tedious because it had to find its way around the knobs and the pipes that feed them. But I got it without kicking more holes in the wall. Now I’m staring at this thing (some would call it a wall) and I’m just not sure what’s supposed to happen next. I suppose I should just knock that thing out and be done with it. I’ll see if I can’t get a picture on here for your viewing pleasure. cheers.

lunch soccer

There’re a lot of nice benefits about working at a place with lots to do with athletics, but one of the best is one that I take advantage of the least: lunchtime soccer. Today I went out and it was absolutely beautiful. The weather was cool, the ground was soft, but it wasn’t sloppy. We’re not to the diehard season yet, but the people who’re out there are more serious and thoughtful, and love the sport. We had a great game of sevens (give or take), tons of room for running (did I say that?), some good passing with moments of brilliance, beauty, and hearbreak. Goals were hard fought, there was a nice mix of skill and playing style, and even the usual ballhogs were passing sooner.

btw, I do get plenty of soccer going on with my three teams PBR FC (coed beer league, portland indoor), Green Dawn ST (men’s open GPSD…temporarily D2 after a rough season), and Team Unknown (coed outdoor, some portland coed league…have been D2, but we rocked and may get promoted). With the days shortening though I can’t make practice after work anymore, and I’m back on the lunch pitch.


Surprisingly large inside, Zaytoon’s has a good selection of beer and booze. Before I’d ever gone in, I was apprehensive, the place looks like it was meant for the Pearl District. And it has a bit of that feel afterwards. However, Zaytoon’s was very friendly, J (sorry…can’t recall the full name) the bartender/manager was cool and cares about beer quite a bit. It might’ve seemed she expressed disappointment at the smaller quantities of fine beers consumed vs. decent liquor. The atmosphere is quite pleasant, with what looks like a gangplank running up and across the entire bar to lead to the upstairs seating. This month on Mondays they are showing some cult classic horror flicks. I don’t know how they’re doing it, but I hope it’s projected against some of their copious wallspace. Honestly, a good liquor-oriented bar will fit in nicely on Alberta (btw, it’s near like 25th and NE Alberta) since we’ve got the new Mash Tun, the Concordia Ale House, Bink’s, and the Alberta Public House (I know about the others too! but enough…), and there’s been a sizeable gap since Chez What went about pushing up the daisies. Anyway, Zaytoon’s seems like a fine establishment, the beer selection is small but caring, the feel is pretty casual, and the music is fun. cheers. btwj, zytoon is arabic for olive…look around and you’ll maybe catch on the theme a bit.

Oktoberfest 2005 – sausage kings

It’s taken be awhile to write this up, but before heading off to Boston I hit the Oktoberfest at Oaks Bottom Park with some friends. It was the usual good time, singing, beer, brats, beer, and cup pyramids. Until we went off to the big tent, where we found more singing and beer. And some yelling. And then it happened. They called for participants in the sausage eating contest. Two humans formed a tag-team style pair of consumers…the one feeding sausage to the other, and then switching after the first is completed. The goal: finish the your sausages the fastest. Fatty footlong babies. After finally talking Buck into joining me, we took the last spot at the table. As if I knew what I was doing I showed him hand signals for faster and slower. I didn’t.

The MC started the contest, I grabbed the sausage and fed it to Buck. Too much, already we were having a setback. These suckers are the tough smoked variety! The other teams were making progress, but poor Buck was gagging while he chewed. A bit of a mess ensued and I was wearing some of his sausage…not much thankfully, but that helped us to become a favorite among the kids. Inspired, Buck forced down that unfortunate first bite, we communicated a new strategy, and got back on our horse. errm, pigs. To add to the surreal nature, the entire German music group sang ‘It’s a Small World’ over and over and over again. It kinda faded in and out for me, drowning in the intensity of competition. He made good pace, gaining on the competition, we knew we were in trouble, periodically sipping off of his beer…I’d finished mine on the way up. Buck finished his sausage, we were in the middle of the pack. I got to work and quickly realized that with small bites I wouldn’t have to waste precious time chewing. And these babies required some mastication. Our group got in nice and close and yelled for us. So I grabbed Buck’s sweet barley nectar and started taking small bites and swallowing them whole. He needed a drink. I denied him his own beer….oh the sacrifices we make! The sausage went down fast! And in the end, we won! The prize, other than bragging rights, was a set of knives, a t-shirt, a cd, and a game. And passes to Oaks Bottom. Pretty sweet!