A new hope

From the IFOCE website:

“There is an century-old prophesy within the competitive eating community, dismissed by most, that foretells the rise of the One Eater, a woman who will electrify America.s gurgitators and lead them to international victory once again. Like Joan of Arc before her, this eater will be slender of stature, but mighty in strength. In recent months, the prophesy has been mentioned more and more frequently as the eaters have watched Sonya Thomas excel in nearly every contest she enters.”

A bizarre subculture…long ago, as a seller of beef jerky and pickled goods, my boss Moose entered me into a pie eating competition. Of course, he didn’t tell me this and going about my business I had a coupla hot dogs for lunch. Disaster did not strike, but suffice it to say that my competitive eating career did not start with a bang, but instead fizzle in the face of more pie on my face than in my belly.


I’ve been in Anaheim all week long at a convention. It’s been pretty cool, I came down with one other fella. Being a convention we had minor convention-like adventures, including, but not limited to:

  • eating at the mall
  • drinking at the mall
  • wearing a name tag
  • drinking at a bar named after something baseball
  • competing to obtain the most useful/cool/bizarre free crap

Yes, there were adventures a-plenty. On Tuesday we went to Disney’s California Adventure, where the food and rides were free, but the beer had a shorter line (and was free too…eat your heart out OLCC!). I yelled “But at least it had Harvey Keitel’s wiener” unknowingly in front of the waitress at the sportily named bar. I met a German at a bus stop that neither of us were trying to catch. He and I drove to Hunington Beach and had tacos with what would’ve been an ocean view if it wasn’t dark. I learned a ton about SAP (Portal and more) but that’s not interesting to read. And I’m pretty saturated right now. I rode next to nobody interesting on the airplane. I ate nothing but tacos on Wednesday. Including late the night before. I don’t count fruit. I met tons of interesting people from around the world and exchanged business cards. I’d rather have them over for pizza. I held a trivia contest— Q: What movie is Zip-a-dee-doo-dah from? (no fair googling). It took quite awhile before we found a winner, and then there was no prize. I bought a book on SAP and got another for free! I asked questions ranging from inane to off-topic. I came home with a funny beer story to share, and maybe a foto to go with it. I don’t think I ate anything bizarre for money. cheers.