Portland Radio Sucks

It truly does. Once again. In bold. Portland Radio Sucks. Bigtime. I could stop this story right here, and probably have said all that I need to, but then what would be the fun in that? I am just freakin’ so sick and tired of all the damn commercials and the stupid DJ’s mackin on strippers for 47 minutes out of each hour. And the three songs that I do hear…if my timing was good and I get to hear any on my commute…are the same ones by the same ‘artists’, rotating between Rage Against the Machine, tool, System of A Down, Korn (sorry deep guys can’t do that kewl ‘K’ thing they do), with maybe a bit of Metallica blended in.

I can’t imagine that it has anything to do with the way our stations take their annual turns at being a different national Radio conglomerate’s bitch all the friggin time. The air waves belong to the people NOT those ass-holes at Clear Channel and Viacom. We as citizens need to take interest in who has control of our media. But this isn’t the place or time for an intellectual and political discourse on the demerits of the FCC and deregulation. This is a time to whine and moan.
I have gotten into my car, driven for nearly 15 minutes and heard only freakin commercials on our local rock station. I’ve gone at least twenty minutes without a song. And these are music stations. Criminy! The alternative station, KNRK sometimes hints that it means well, It actually devotes time to local artists. For like an hour when even Taco Bell is closed! And Art’s show seems interesting sometimes. But that does not make it okay to suck the rest of the time. Their playlist is aye-dent-ti-kal to that of KUFO’s, the hard rock station (to be confused with the rock station at the same location on your flaccid tuner).

Portland is a city with a great music scene. There are a lot of good shows going on every night, album release parties weekly. And some of those are probably crap. But that’s okay. Seattle’s not too far away, nor is San Francisco, even Boisemight have an emerging band or two. I don’t know, because they’s rather not come here. If we demanded our music be taken seriously, we might be taken that way.

So I’m absolutely fed up with the situation as it is. I haven’t figured out my more drastic measures yet, but I’m sure I’ll figure something out and you’ll be the first to know about it. But in the meantime, I’ve ditched local radio all-to-friggin-gether and subscribed to Sirius Satellite Radio…expect a full review of that in a different voice than this, but suffice it to say for now that it’s so liberating it rocks.

Anyhow, I may as well make a few demands.

  1. Vary your music a little!
  2. Play less commercials
  3. I don’t care how hot she is I can’t see her!
  4. DJ’s: shut the hell up and play some music if you’re too stupid to have an original idea friggin Marconi!
  5. Represent our local artists! I know your corporate John’s can’t handle anything a bit original, but it’s your freakin duty!
  6. Request hour is just that. It’s not sit take calls until you can get a suondbite for the next song on your playlist

ps – kiss my ass Clear Channel!

21 Replies to “Portland Radio Sucks”

  1. Hallellujah! Amen. Rick, you said it. Once, a long time ago, in a galaxy not so far away, there was this little radio station that had a Nirvana CD, a Pearl Jam CD, and that was it. They rocked. Then something happened, and they got more CD’s and then, thier “new rock alternative” became nothing more than a carbon copy of the local “UFO”. Radio has sucked ever since then.
    I have actually started to listen to AM talk radio pretty religiously in the past year and a half or so. Check out Phil Hendrie for a good time on 1080. But as for rock, here are my demands:
    1. Get some new G%*DAMN music!
    2. Alternative? Alternative to what?? The same crap on the other stations. Make some real alternatives.
    3. Realize that their are people outside of the ages of 12-14 who may not find fat guys masturbating that funny.
    4. Play some G#*Damn music!!
    Okay, that’s all. Just wanted to back up what has been said with my own thoughts.


  3. Teamsters Call Foul on Budweiser Distributor
    Union to Inform Fans at Blazers Game of Maletis Beverage’s Attack on Good Jobs in Portland

    (Portland, OR) On Monday, March 22, 2004, Teamsters Local 162 members will be at the Portland Trailblazers – Houston Rockets game to inform fans about the Rose Garden’s Budweiser distributor – Maletis Beverage’s plans to cut long-time workers’ benefits. Maletis distribution workers have charged that the company’s new management has violated federal labor law by making threats to lock them out of their jobs and refusing to bargain a contract in good faith.

    “For more than 14 months, the Teamsters have made every effort to reach a fair contract that provides security for the working families at Maletis,” said Phil Muter, Teamsters Local 162 Representative. “All the new management seems to want to do is attack good jobs in Portland – even to the point of jeopardizing service.”

    Who: Maletis Beverage Teamsters Local 162
    What: Teamsters Rally and Informational Leafletting to Trailblazers Fans
    When: 6:00 p.m. Monday March 22, 2004
    Where: Holiday Park, next to Lloyd Center then March to Rose Garden

  4. Corporate Radio sucks everywhere. Commercial stations that might be decent now are steadily getting worse and sinking into the muck that is Clear Channel/Infinity commercial schlock.
    Portlanders, try tuning to your community radio station, KBOO. Or try KPSU. Or even OPB(which is still heavily corporate funded). All three can be streamed over the internet.

  5. Duh. If you listen to commercial radio, no wonder you’re fed up. We actually have better radio out here in Oregon than anywhere I’ve been, and it’s the public and community stations. Turn off ClearChannel.

    OPB – 91.5 FM
    KBOO – 90.7 FM
    Air America (Progressive Talk radio) 620 AM
    In Eugene, KLCC – 89.7 FM

  6. DUDE!!! The music on all the freakin stations play the same music I heard when I was a teenager!! The supposed ‘cool’, ‘young’ stations like KUFO are playing AC/DC and Metallica like there’s no tomorrow. The alternative stations= Nirvana. And the soft rock stations still play 80s crap. How many times can a person sit through the upmteenth Phil Collins “Another Day In Paradise” or “In the Air Tonight?”

    Get a clue Portland radio stations!!! We’ve all moved on to iPods and XM, and you guys are being left behind because you refuse to grow up like the rest of us!

  7. They still suck till now! haha. Won’t it ever change?!
    and that dj during sunday PMs sounds like a little girl petrified of being on air! Run girl, run…!

  8. I hate PDX radio also.

    After Marconi making fun of the American being beheaded in Iraq, that did it for me. What a shameless, uncaring asshole.

    Not to mention his group of on-air idiots that provide the canned laughter everytime he says something “funny”.

    I am now going through my old CDs instead of listening to the radio. My IQ doesn't lower as with listening to these moronic DJs.

    1. yeah. That was awhile ago, and for a bit it got better. I think in
      response to the threat of satellite. But it has slowly regressed to the old
      crap that it was. Same bands over and over like a music dynasty, too many

  9. at least you have stations that play rock music. here in cleveland, we have clear channel's choice selection of rap, country, oldies, and republican talk radio. I really don't know if there's a decent rock station left anywhere in the U.S.

  10. 1. Get some new G%*DAMN music!
    2. Alternative? Alternative to what?? The same crap on the other stations. Make some real alternatives.
    3. Realize that their are people outside of the ages of 12-14 who may not find fat guys masturbating that funny.
    4. Play some G#*Damn music!!
    Okay, that's all. Just wanted to back up what has been said with my own thoughts.

    -Haha Hilarious demands!

  11. I’m in the same boat, only I made the mistake of getting one of those radio transistor car kits first.

    That was a total waste of money, so now I’ll wait for the tax refund and pony up for the car stereo as well.

  12. This community space will be a great benefit to us, and visa-versa. We will have a street front location where we can open our doors to our new neighbors and to the music community of Portland.

  13. I'm more than willing to give you the benefit of the doubt that you have not traveled outside of Portland in many years and forgot what other cities play on their radio stations, but coming from someone in Cincinnati I am going to tell you that it's all the exact same shit. Every fucking where you go.

    Maybe you shouldn't bother listening to the radio.

  14. I actually have heard stations that are good. KEXP in seattle and the internet is a great example, though I've heard many in college towns through the years. KNRK has made occasional efforts to get interesting, but it seems they keep getting reeled back.

  15. Portland, OR, NOT is the dumbest place to live. That’s why Jesus Christ chose the crucification in lieu of living in Portland, OR, NOT! 

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